shetries's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it's all a part of me i will never, ever, ever, EVER write at 3am again. i promise that to myself. especially after i give certin people my password. or, rather, a certin person. i rely on other people to validate me. i have no idea who i am. i only know what other people think i am. I take the things i like (and sometimes the things i don't) from other peoples' perceptions of me and mold it into an identity. an identity that may or may not be who i am. who am i? it seems as if i know nothing about myself. I know the events of my life, i know my behavior patterns...beyond that i am a stranger to myself. i only know what others tell me. i love myself when someone says they love me. i recognize my talents when someone says i possess them. if someone says "it looks like you've lost weight" i am proud of myself. when someone says i'm pretty i think "maybe i'm not so bad." if someone think i'm intelligent i feel smart. it works the other way too. if someone says i could should have tried harder i know i've failed. if someone says i'm being irrational i believe myself to be insane. i'll be working on that autobiography sometime soon. and...that's it. 7:17 pm - 07.02.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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