shetries's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my life, from the begining it has occured to me that i have said very little here about who i am, where i have come from, what has molded me into the person i am. i think i want to try and tell my story, from the begining. i failed 9th grade english 3 times for one simple reason: i refused to write an autobiography. i never moved up to the highest privlage level the 2 1/2 months i was in ECMC, for once simple reason: i refused to write an autobiography. i don't like to revist the past. it seems as though there are only bad memories, everything good has been swallowed by those terrible events looming back there. but i think it's time. i know it's time. I was born September 11th, 1985 in Cartersville, GA. It was a new, small hospital on highway 41. I was my parents' first born. As long as i can remember my father has sung a verse from a Allman Brothers song to me: "And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus, rolling down highway 41." I was, of course, not born in the back of a bus. But, for some reason, he finds he fact it was on highway 41 relevant enough to make that my offical theme song. My parents were hippies in the generic sense of the word. They didn't protest vietnam, they didn't make their own clothes. They just smoked a lot of pot, wore hippie type clothes and lived in a psuedo commune for the first year of my life. They also moved a lot. Bt the time i was two i had lived in Maryland, Georiga and West Virgina. My brother Tim was born a couple months before i turned two, and by the time i was three we had moved back to my father's home town: Alden, NY. I don't remember any of that, of course. i only know what i have been told. My brother Ben was born a month before i turned five. We stayed in alden until i was five. We then moved to a neighboring town for a year, and then back to Alden. My memories of this period are incredibly limited. There are only a few memories that are vivid in my mind. My favorite of these occured one night when i was sick with a fever. My father had been away that night, for some reason. I woke up in the middle of the night to get a cup of water. I could not reach the cups, so i had to wake my mom up to get the drink for me. I went into her room and she was not there. I was immediatly terrified. I went into the dark livingroom and saw a large mound of blankets on the couch. All of the sudden it became clear to me: bad guys had stole my mom and now they were hiding under the blankets. i panicked, and called 911 in tears (i had just learn that day at school that 911 is for emergencies heh). I told the lady on the phone my mother had dissapeared. She sent the cops over to see what was wrong and when they ring the door bells my mother wakes up and gets out from under the pile of blankets. She asks what's going on and i said, positive i was in a lot of trouble, "i called 911 emergancy, i thought people stole you, i'm sorry" and then i started sobbing. My mother answered the door, explained what happened to the cops and they gave me a sticker for being "such a responsible young lady." hehe. things were good back then. We moved back to alden when i was 6. I remember very little from this time, and nothing signifigant enough to write about. i was innocent, i was a child, things were good. or so i remember them. And then, the summer before i turned 7, we moved to Belfast, NY. A small town waaay out in the country. And this is where it happened. This is where my life changed. This is where i was tainted. I was molested by my neighbors. They were boys ranging from ages 9-14. The younger boy, the 9 year old, would play a "i touch you, you touch me" game. But the 12 and 14 year olds...they would hold me down, they wouldn't let me yell for help.....it was bad. bad bad bad. They told me if i told my mom she would think i was a bad girl and she would put me up for adoption. Their mother knew about it. i found out later that she was eventually sent to jail for sexually abusing them. We moved away, i thought i was safe. (to be continued) 9:11 pm - 07.01.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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