shetries's Diaryland Diary

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shake it up baby now

i don't care enough to keep this locked. if someone feels the need to find things out about me that they shouldn't that's their choice.

something is wrong. i was so incredibly shakey today. my hands have been shaking like CRAZY. and i've come close to crying like 20 times today. the thing is...i don't know what's bothering me. i'm a wreck over something, but i'm not sure what.

i better snap out of it though, this is nervous breakdown material. maybe i just need a hug. and i know i won't be getting one of those any time soon so...oh well.

(so many of my entries end with "oh well")

all i want is a moment worthy of being captured...in art, in time, in my my mind. whatever. i don't know if i'm making sense. god, there are so many things i want to believe. in love, in god, in myself. in something more. something more than this. someone more than me who will, somehow, make me more.

it's been too long since i've gotten really drunk. maybe that's all i need...to foget about it all for a few hours. to laugh and be free. maybe that's all. and i'm off tomorrow, maybe me and pam can buy a bottle, and we can both pretend everything is ok. and maybe for a little while we'll actually believe it is.

i don't care what anyone else thinks, that girl is one of the greatest people i have ever known.

8:48 pm - 07.06.03

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